- 43% of US children live without their father.
- 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes
- 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes
- 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes
- 75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes
- 70% of youths in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes
- 71% of pregnant teenagers lack a father
- Fatherless boys and girls are: twice as likely to drop out of high school; twice as likely to end up in jail; four times more likely to need help for emotional or behavior problems.
Honestly, as a teacher I could've told you the same thing. We see so many students suffering from the effects of fatherless homes or absent dads. This made me think of my own relationship with my dad and how blessed I am to have had him when I was growing up and the other strong males in my life who made me who I am today. Strong male role models are vital in our society today. If we want to bring our nation back, we need our men to step up and accept the roles placed upon them by our Father in Heaven! We have to enforce the fifth commandment: Honor your father and your mother.
Children with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to do well in school, have healthy self-esteem, exhibit empathy and pro-social behavior, and avoid high-risk behaviors such as drug use, truancy, and criminal activity compared to children who have uninvolved fathers. Studies on parent-child relationships and child well being show that a father's love is an important factor in predicting the social, emotional, and cognitive development and functioning of children and young adults. Even though my parents were young and their marriage didn't work, my dad was still present in my life, and I believe that made a huge difference in who I am. While my dad is by no means perfect, he was always there and still is just a phone call away. Throughout my childhood, he came to get me every other weekend without fail. If he couldn't get there, then Nana and Pappaw (his parents) came to get me. My dad took me everywhere with him, even some places I probably shouldn't have been. However, I never felt scared with my dad there. I knew when I grew up that I wanted a man that took his role of a father just as serious, and I am blessed that I found that in Robert.
There are statistics that show a father not living with the child can have negative effects, but I'm here to say, even if you don't live with your child, you still have the ability to show up and parent your child. Our society is missing that today. Grandparents aren't getting to be grandparents, but are instead forced to be parents. Children are born to single mothers with a father who has no interest in being a daddy. I applaud those single mothers who work so hard to provide for their children and make a better life for them. Yet, we still see in the statistics above that fathers are important. I realize some situations are toxic and we can't allow our children to be around their fathers, but a lot of hard situations are due to selfishness of one or both parties and the need to control a situation. Adults have to stand up and be adults. We are the caretakers of our children and once we had them, their well being became our responsibility and their needs became more important than our pride.
We have to start educating our youth that there are consequences for their behaviors. Stop showing up every time there is a problem to bail them out and allow them to accept the consequences for the behavior. You got in trouble at school, you will accept the consequences from your teacher and we will support the teacher and discuss more consequences when you get home. You didn't study for the test, you will take the grade you made. If corrections are possible, you will do them. However this is your responsibility, not your teachers. If you choose to have sex, you must accept the consequences that may follow: pregnancy, STDs, loss of reputation, just to name a few. If we do not allow our kids to experience consequences now, than guess what, society will later and not in a loving way. What happens when they think they can do whatever without consequences, and they talk back to a policeman because they don't respect authority, because we didn't model that for them in their youth? You will be getting a phone call from jail. No longer can we wait to have those hard conversations with our children because guess what, if you don't do it, this world will and not the way you want it to! As adults, we must set the example and show our kids how to navigate a broken world
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Husbands, show your kids how to love by loving their mother and them. Fathers, even if you aren't with the mother, step up and make a difference in your kids' lives. Don't tell me that because you're not together, you can't do it! My dad did even though he and my mom did not get along! It's not going to be easy. Nothing in life ever is, but it will be worth it in the end! The rewards of seeing your child blossom and grow are more precious than anything else.
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